Dr. Gary Chapman has been gaining popularity as a marriage counselor for over 30 years and has seen it all. After years and years of counseling, he has started to connect stories to one another, noticing 5 patterns that tend to crop up in all relationships, between the most dedicated of partners. Each person has a different way of expressing love and also a different way that they interpret the love that is shown to him or her by their friends and family. Dr. Chapman has found that of all of these ways that we show love to one another, there are 5 universal “love languages” and that each person seems to identify with one specific language. More often than not, we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who does not communicate his or her love in the same way as us. It is our job to identify which love language they are speaking so that we can learn to speak it back.
When I started reading this book, I got through the first chapter and a half and put it down, deciding that it would be most helpful for people who are married or at least in a long-term relationship. I found myself thinking about what I had read more and more though and realized how wrong I was. Everyone needs to feel love and interpret love, whether it be from a friend or family members and it can be frustrating when you can’t seem to express it in a way that they understand. As a mother, you may feel like you shower your kids with love and they don’t appreciate anything you do, (and this may be because of teenage angst,) but more likely it is because you aren’t speaking their language.
This is definitely an important read but if you're short on time there is a quiz you can take on the book's website to give you a quick assessment of your primary love language.
The Five Love Languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch